The Houseplant Song - Underdog Album Version

Hey, where's my skinny boy Decaf Monte No Fo?

Hi, this is Smooth Steve from K-Jazz. Welcome to Java the Hutt
Tonight we got a special guest, a young man from (I don't
Know where he's from) . He's playing a new song. Here we go

Thanks Smooth Steve. Hey, uh, this is a song about a book
I read once about the so-called inherent evils of rock
And roll and I wrote this little song about it. Uh
I guess I'd just like to thanks for, uh, thank you all for
Letting me come out and sing this song tonight. Here it goes

Once I read a book and this is what it said
If your music has a beat then you're gonna wind up dead
It doesn't really matter if it's Christian or not
If it's syncopated rhythm then your soul is gonna rot
And this book was called "Ha! You're Gonna Burn!"
And in the second chapter I went on to learn

Take two houseplants and put 'em to the test
Set 'em both in front of speakers and let the music do the rest
The first one you play Mozart or something lovely like that
The second one you play that Petron and Megadeth
Doesn't really matter what kind of rock it is

So I took my two houseplants and I put them to the test
Set 'em both in front of speakers and let the music do the rest
I powered up my Pioneers and let the music roar
But twenty minutes later someone's knocking at my door

I opened up my door and there my neighbor stood
He said, "Man, I'd like to get some sleep if you think I could"
I said, "Man, can't you see here? I've got this
Moral dilemma that I have gotta get clear"
He said, "What kind of moral dilemma
Could you have at this time of night
That could make me so angry that I just wanna fight?"

Sorry, so I pointed to the page in that open book
That had a picture of a potted plant and I said, "Go have a look"
And he read

Take two houseplants and put 'em to the test
Set 'em both in front of speakers and let the music do the rest
The first one you play Mozart or something lovely like that
The second one you play that Petron and Megadeth
Doesn't really matter what kind of rock it is

"First of all," he said, "that's Wagner that you're playing
I've never heard of Petron, isn't Megadeth all dead?"
And secondly, emphatically he asked me, "What's the sense
Of hanging out with houseplants that
Hey, I live right across the fence?"
And I thought to myself, "You know, that's a good point"

So I took my two houseplants and I put 'em both back outside
And me and my neighbor, well, we went out for a drive
We talked about all the things that really matter most
Like life and love and happiness and then the Holy Ghost

Now my two houseplants both sit out in the sun
And as for my neighbor, well, our friendship has become
A meaningful relationship that's headed straight to heaven
But as for now we like to sit around and listen to Audio Adrenaline
Cranked to eleven

Thanks a lot you guys, thanks. You're a wonderful audience. I'd
Like to thank my band Audio Adrenaline for coming all the way out
Here, driving all night from Williston, North Dakota to back me up
Thanks. Don't forget to tip your waiters and waitresses. Thanks